Mom Phrases. On Repeat.

If I had a nickel for every time I said these phrases to my kids – I would have a million dollars.

1. Where are your socks?
2. Pick up your socks.
3. You need to wear socks in winter.
4. Crocs aren’t a good choice in snow either.
5. Did you brush your teeth?
6. Really?  Let me smell your breath.
7. Stop fighting.
8. Stop fighting!
9. Feed the dogs.
10. Do you have homework?
11. Go to bed!
12. Stay out of your brother’s room.
13. Stop junk-punching your brother.
14. Put your dishes in the dishwasher.
15. IN the dishwasher, not on the counter above it.
16. Where’s your backpack?
17. Did you hang up your backpack?
18. Did you hang up your coat/hoodie?
19. Do your shoes belong here?
20. Where I can trip over them?
21. In the middle of the kitchen?
22. Why are there granola bar wrappers all over the floor?
23. How long has this milk cup been sitting on your nightstand?
24. Stop annoying your brother(s)!
25. Why are you making me yell at you?
26. Why is the Costco size box of granola bars empty?  I bought it yesterday.
27. I am NOT ordering pizza.  Three times a week is ridiculous.
28. Pee goes in the toilet.  Not near it.
29. Seriously…I’m not cleaning your bathroom anymore.
30. Why do you leave one square of TP?
31. Why am I the only one who changes the TP roll?
32. How long has this plate been here?
33. Don’t “play” with the fish in the fish tank. (After a cracked snail shell.)
34. No balls in the house.
35. Please stop dribbling your basketball in the kitchen.
36. The dog is NOT a horse, get off her back.
37. Stop messing with the cat.
38. Seriously, he’s going to bite you.
39. You’re going to turn him into a mean cat.
40. I told you he was going to bite you.
41. Stop negotiating and just do it!
42. What are you?  A future lawyer?
43. You’re putting dents in the wall!
44. Do you want to repaint that?
45. Take a shower.
46. If you can’t remember your last shower, you’re due for one.
47. Seriously, you’re kind of stinky.
48. Why don’t you bike today?  Your helmet will be the excuse for your hair.
49. The swimming pool isn’t the same as a shower.
50. Yes, I know it “knocks the stink off.”  Still doesn’t count as a shower.
51. Do you want me to call your dad?
52. How many days have you been wearing those socks/undies?
53. Please change your socks/undies.
54. What do you mean you forgot you have homework?
55. You told me last night you didn’t have homework!
56. Can do you do your homework in the two minutes it takes to drive to school?
57. Did you learn your lesson?
58. You cannot survive on granola bars and go-gurt.
59. Turn the volume down!
60. Did you pick up your room?
61. Did you pick up your room to Mommy’s standards?
62. Better go back and finish cleaning up your room.
63. Clothes go IN the laundry basket, not near it.
64. #@!% Legos!!
65. Let the dogs out.
66. Let the dogs in.
67. Did you hear me?
68. Are you listening to me?
69. Are you trying to make me yell at you?
70. Try saying that again with proper manners.
71. Go to your room.
72. Please be nice.
73. I can’t take it anymore.
74. Honey, please pick up wine on the way home.