Sooo, can I get your number?? Friend dating.

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Friend dating is tough.  I’m 40 years old and had a slew of awesome friends where I lived.  I didn’t need any more, my heart was full.  When I moved from the Midwest to the High West, I still had a slew of awesome friends, but they weren’t in Salt Lake City.  It turns out, I needed friends here, too.  Moving means that you need to put yourself out there (again) and get to know people (again) and they need to get to know you.  I like it when people know all of me, otherwise it feels like I’m keeping secrets from them.  And I hate secrets.
Long distance relationships are hard.  Moving away from your friends and family also means that you are instantly in a lot of long distance relationships.  Thank goodness technology helps with Facebook, FaceTime and texting.  However, when you move, you likely are going to make some changes in your life.  Maybe people don’t like the changes you’re making and maybe it’s not worth the effort of the long distance relationship anymore.
Since I was thrust into the mommy dating pool, I felt like it was time to lay it all on the table.  Cut to the chase.  This felt like a good place for my new potential friends to see whether or not they wanted to pursue the friendship.  We meet, have coffee, exchange numbers, I give them the link to this article, and we go from there.  This is also an opportunity for my long distance friends to decide if they want to put in the effort for the long haul.  Family is family, and you can’t choose your family.  You can choose your friends.  So for better or for worse, here goes….my list of dirty little secrets:
  • I don’t like Madonna or Beyonce.  They totally annoy me.  I do like Taylor Swift and Justin Beiber.  Try to figure that one out.
  • I drink 2 cups of coffee per day.  One in the morning in my green ‘Life is Good’ coffee mug, and one between 1-3pm in my Andre’s coffee mug.  Me casa su casa, except when it comes to my coffee mugs.
  • When I turn 80, I’m done.  I will eat, drink and smoke whatever I want, whenever I want.
  • If I’m out on a dance floor, I like utilize the entire dance floor rather than confine myself to one small space.
  • I sometimes forget that my border collie is not a human being.  I keep waiting for the moment when he decides to start talking back….in perfect English.
  • I have music playing in the background at least 60% of the time.  Music helps shape each day for me.
  • When I go out, a drink beforehand is protocol.  It’s called front loading.  After a night out, a drink right before bed is necessary.  It’s called a final-final.
  • I hate change.  Exception: my life has changed so much in the past year that I have just decided to go all out and change a lot.
  • I really do believe shopping is a hobby.
  • I aspire to be a DJ.
  • I am physically incapable of telling a lie.  Exception: I say things that I believe are 100% true, but are really a lie.  Sometimes, I get fiction and reality confused.
  • I have the gene that tells me ‘don’t do ____, you might get arrested.’ I do not have the gene that tells me ‘don’t do _____, you might get embarrassed.’
  • I have experienced a great loss in my life and cry when someone loses a loved one.  Even if I don’t know either party.
  • I am a fairly smart person with very flakey tendencies.
  • I can’t recognize a celebrity.  I have mistaken baseball players for old college classmates, football players for normal men with giant necks and Oprah for my mother. (They were wearing similar clothes.  See point above for further explanation.)
  • If you invite me to a party, there is a good chance I’ll bring a tambourine.
  • I faint at the sight of blood.  Every. Single. Time.
  • I’m a good hugger.  If you know me for more than 10 seconds, I am open for hugs for as long as you need.
  • My parents call me their little bulldog.  I can be very nice and loving, and am extremely loyal.  But if you mess with somebody I love, you’ll probably get bit.
  • In my head, I am the best dancer/singer that has ever walked the earth.
  • I believe in Karma.  I do my very best to do the right thing all the time.  When I do something that might compromise my Karma, I donate/volunteer/etc to cancel out the ‘bad’ action.
  • After I had kids, I had to re-watch ‘Mommy Dearest’ to make sure that Joan Crawford was really as bad as I thought she was before I had kids.  She was bad, but not as bad as I thought she was…..
  • My favorite movie of all time is the original Clash of the Titans.
  • Champagne makes everything better. I know that for a fact.
  • The only reason I exercise is to eat and drink more.  Health has nothing to do with it.
  • If I let my eyebrows go, I would be able to comb them into my hair.
  • I have a motorcycle license, but I don’t like riding bicycles.
  • My favorite words on the planet are curse words.  I feel like they really get the point across.  That’s why I relate best to Irish people, Marines, and people who may have done time.
  • When given the option of a 12 oz beer or a 24 oz beer, I will always choose the 24 oz beer, no matter what.  I love giant beers in giant steins.
  • My favorite sayings are:
    ◦ More is more/The more the merrier
    ◦ Never say never (I had to learn this one the hard way)
    ◦ If you mess with the wolf, you’ll get the fang
    ◦ Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all
    ◦ You can have it all, just not at the same time
    ◦ You have to stretch to grow
  • (Deep breath)  This is a tough one….I’m actually starting to like living in the mountains.  It really doesn’t suck.
Friend dating
Friend dating includes hiking!

So this is it!  What you see is what you get.  Now everyone has enough information to make an educated decision.  I assure you, these facts about myself are 100% true.  My husband can vouch for all of them. After looking through this list, I’m actually shocked that he still chooses to be married to me.  As for my current and potential new friends, I’ll be flattered and honored if you still choose me to be your friend, even after knowing almost everything there is to know about me. But be warned, just when you think you’ve got me figured out, I likely will still be able to surprise you. I love my hiking mommy dates!  You can get through a lot of ‘stuff’ in 2+ hours.

We’re all very complex, but at the end of the day, we just want to connect with others.  I need those connections and feel I’m at my best when I’m just being me.
XOXO,
Elizabeth
elizabeth millsElizabeth Mills is a 40-something wife, mother of three, caregiver to Pip, the Wonder Dog.  She’s the CEO of Chez Mills and self-designated Director of Fun.  An ideal day for Elizabeth includes coffee, shopping, cooking, music, champagne and laughing. After a long career at a greeting card factory, she decided to become a mostly full-time mom who does contract work on the side.  Her favorite job to date.  Elizabeth is a planner, Type A personality and fears change amongst other things.  An unexpected move to Salt Lake City, Utah from the Midwest in August 2015 inspired her to start her blog, High West Rambler.  Her new mantra is “you have to stretch to grow.”

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9 Replies to “Sooo, can I get your number?? Friend dating.”

    1. Thanks for reading! Isn’t Liz an amazing writer! I wish she lived closer! (I’m in CO.)

    2. I miss you, too! I hope you’ve at least been getting ready for car dancing in Portland. I don’t want to have to show you up with my moves…. AGAIN. XOXO – Elizabeth

  1. Revers! I’ll take take this mantra with me as I move to Italy. Love it and will need it!! Flight booked for 5/1….maybe I’ll need a blog as well 😉

    1. Sounds like a great idea! I’d love to read it! – Heather

    2. Yes! I’ll also want to hear when you get asked out on your first friend date:) Good luck! I can’t wait to hear about your new adventure! – Elizabeth

  2. I think you would be a great ER nurse!! My favorite is the wolf and fang comment. I am going to use that one. Hope all is well.

    1. Isn’t that one the best?? My dad said that to me after a night of drinking:) Miss you!!
      XOXO – Elizabeth

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